The Big Three-O

Well I bloody made it!  Actually, I have surpassed it! My total weight loss, as of today is 31.6kg, you little ripper!  In the imperial system that equates to about 70 pounds!  Crazy! 

I think that another 15kg might just do me.  I've never wanted to be skinny, that's what I'm most worried about... Looking like a lolly pop and my head (which is already quite sizeable) totally overshadowing my body. *Shudders* God I hate that look.  It just makes me want to chuck them a bikkie or shove a cream bun down their throat!!  I just want to be small enough to shop in normal shops.  I'm nearly there too!! I would say that I am a size 17.  Not quite a 16 or an 18!!  It's a bit frustrating being stuck between a plus size and the national average!  Another 5 or 6kg and I recon I can wave good bye to the 18 for good!

My weight loss has slowed right down but I am curious to know what to do if I don't want to lose any more?  I've been told that I will stop at around 35kg and that I'll have to work hard to get any extra off (which I am totally prepared to do, especially since I can barely eat anything anyway!), so I'll just have to wait and see I guess!  I have been told horror stories of people ending up underweight... I honestly can't imagine that happening to me!!

In food news, I am LOVING fruit at the moment.  Hooray for summer fruits!  The mango's that are available are absolutely sublime and I'm having at least half a mango a day!  My lunch for the last few days has been rockmelon, mango, lychee's and whatever else I've got, mixed up with low fat yoghurt.  Oh. My. God.  So good!

Well, that's it until I lose another few kilo's.  I'm really looking forward to Christmas and seeing many of my relatives that I haven't seen since Christmas last year!!  It's such a great time of year, I think I'm learning to appreciate it as I'm getting older...

I Feel Better Now!

Firstly, I can't believe that ten thousand people have read my blog!  That is amazeballs!!  As the numbers were climbing I thought it was unreal that a thousand people cared enough to have a squiz... but ten thousand?  Wow!  Thank you all for your support and messages of encouragement, I really do appreciate it!!

Now, what's news... Well, I'm feeling better.  Great news!  AND I've lost about a kilo in a week and a bit taking me to.....28.8kg!!!  Fantastic news!!  I'm SO keen to hit the big 3-0!  

I took the week off swimming last week and still felt fairly shitty on Monday and Tuesday.  After trying to get into see my GP and told the earliest appointment was in 3 weeks (I asked the receptionist if it was beneficial that I plan the next time I am going to be sick? Gruff response of Mmmmmm)  I had a colleague ask a friend (who is a dietitian) if she had any tips for me (thanks Fiona!).  She suggested that I could be dehydrated and need to drink more water and Gatorade to help replace the bits that I was using.  I also tried to increase my protein intake (which I find difficult since I'm not massively into meat or eggs) but I did focus on meat, eggs and cheese during the week.  I also ate some salmon and baby spinach to try and up my omega 3's and iron intake which could also have been part of the problem.  By Thursday I was bouncing off the walls.  Crazy, irritating kind of bouncing off the walls.  I had loads more energy and as a result, my sleeping patterns became erratic towards the end of the week.  What a change!!  From falling asleep at 8:00pm most nights to struggling to get to sleep at 11:30pm!!

So this week I started swimming again.  I've only been once so far and I made sure that I had an egg and half a piece of toast for breakfast to help with protein again.  I also swapped my ritual morning coffee for a green tea in the hope of continuing to hydrate myself after my swim.  I have been feeling OK, but I think the true showing will be on Thursday after I swim again in the morning.  I also backed off and swam 22 laps instead of my usual 30.  I'm not sure if that made a difference but I know I felt slightly guilty that I didn't bust out 30!!  I also measured myself after a month of swimming here are the results:

Bust = -2cm

Waist = -4cm

Hips = -2cm

Bicep = -4cm

Thigh = -19cm (I think this must be an error.  19cm seems ridiculous! Maybe I didn't measure properly last time?)

And that's it.  I know there haven't been photo's in AGESSSS so I will get husband to take a few new ones when he's home this shift.

Regret

For the first time since my op, I am regretting the choice that I have made.   While I feel regret, I am also feeling disappointed that I really can't enjoy food as much anymore.  I think because I associated the enjoyment with excess and it's so incredibly apparent that excess simply isn't possible.  Coming into summer there are so many lite, delicious meals that I can't wait to get back into.  It's just the tiny portions and repercussions of eating that I feel make it a waste of time.  Thus the regret.  I'm really starting to dislike the feeling of sickness after every meal.  I've tried to stop before I feel sick but it is literally happening within one or two mouth fulls.  I also think I'm feeling this way because for the first time in months, I've had a really difficult week food wise.  I thought it was just bread that was making me feel unwell but as it turns out, everything except water is causing grief.  And even that isn't going down so well.

For the last week and a half I have just felt unwell all the time.  Bloated, queasy, twinges and little pains in my stomach.  Just gross.  I have tried a myriad of foods in the hope that they will go down smoothly and I won't feel instantly sick.  I tried going back onto shakes for a day to 'flush' out my stomach and give my digestive system a break but I just felt like like I'd drunk too much milk.  I tried a day of all vegetables but they weren't friendly either.  Watermelon works.  I just have to make sure that it's all turned to liquid before I swallow.  Popcorn is ok too (again, chewed well).  The other thing that has happened a few times this week was the need to race, faster than Cathy Freeman at the Olympics, to the toilet just seconds after swallowing something.  I never actually threw up, but the 7 litres of saliva that poured into my mouth certainly made me think I was going to hurl.  So for the last few days I have just dealt with it.  Eat something, feel wretched for 20 minutes and then move on.  But surely this isn't what I am going to have to live with for ever?  Am I?

The return of the dizzy spells, accompanied with absolutely ZERO energy makes me think that I have some sort of deficiency happening.  I'm still taking my multivitamins, Berocca and krill oil tablets every day but I think there is definitely something going on that needs investigating.  I'll book into see my GP this week (which means in CQ terms that there will be an appointment available sometime close to Christmas) and hopefully we can get this sorted out.  I've always been a night owl, but many times in the last couple of weeks I've been asleep by 8 - 8:30 at night.  SO unlike me!!  I thought that perhaps I was burning more calories than I was consuming and that was why I had no energy.  30 minutes of swimming burns about 500 - 600 calories in half an hour.  If that is all that I am eating as well, it leaves virtually nothing for my body to use to keep it running.  That means good weight loss, but does it explain why I have no energy and feel awful?  I'll let you know!