Thursday, 30 June 2011
Because my diet is/was so high in carbs the dietician allowed me 200g (maximum) of protein a day to cope with the hunger. It's not fucking working. I AM STARVING! All I can think about at this very moment is turkish bread with bacon, banana and cheese (toasted), and potato scallops, and a soft serve from Maccas, and m&m's and dim sims and sushi and and and and and and. I'm going to get another awesome carrot. Kill me.
Everyone loves a good before photo! I'm going to take new photo's each month and upload them to monitor the progress as I slowly diminish! I probably could have run a brush through my hair and put on a bit of lippy but I relied on my natural beauty - obviously a foolish choice! Actually I didn't even think about it. The before photo's are always hideous so these are, in actual fact, spot on!
I've had a couple of friends staying with me for the last couple of days. It was so wonderful to have them here, and it made my days SO much easier to get through - thanks Lisa and Tara for helping to keep me occupied!!! We had lunch out yesterday, I enjoyed my salad (with v.small amount of grilled chicken) and wasn't too worried about missing out on the good stuff. I reflected on the fact that I usually would have ordered a burger with chips and an ice coffee. That's a loooong way from my salad!
I am still consistently verrrrry hungry. Anything I eat only fills me up for a half hour or so and then I get a growling in my stomach and feel nauseous again. My current diet is as follows: Breakfast - optifast shake, morning tea - juice (with onlly 2 pieces of fruit total), lunch - shake and a salad, afternoon tea - fat free soup made on water, dinner tiny amount of lean meat (less then 150g) and veg, dessert - shake and a sugar free lolly. I've had a headache for the last 3 days too. Nothing unbearable, just a constant tightness all over my head. I just have to keep thinking about the bigger picture. This is only for another 10 days and then it's surgery time!!
I've been making a juice to help recover from surgery. I'm allowed 2 pieces of fruit a day and after some searching and asking around, it is comprised of: Pineapple for bruising and swelling, ginger for nausea, orange for vitamin c and apple/watermelon for flavour. I really look forward to it every day! I'm also taking zinc to boost my immunity and strong doses of multivitamins too.
I finally go word that APRA has approved my case today. Very excited about that. Not that I was worried but coming up with a rather large amount of cash when you have a great whopping mortgage is a little hard! So now the financial side of things are covered we are good to go!!!!
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Ok so I'm still hungry, but at least it isn't as bad as yesterday. I've been super busy today which has helped. I didn't lost 5 kilo's overnight about but I expect a massive drop, say 20kg by the end of the week. Pfft.
I tried to reason with the dog this morning that just 1 piece of toast would be fine. I could exercise it off this arvo, but no dice. The ears were back and she growled at me. Even she is against me.
I'm going to do measurements tomorrow and post them. Right this minute, I'm starving so i'm going to go and get a carrot. Awesome.
Monday, 27 June 2011
I'm hungry. The kind of hungry that can't be satiated. My food intake today has been 3 shakes, 2 pieces of fruit and a salad with 100g of chicken and a small boiled egg and about 3 litres of water to curb hunger pangs. I realise some people exist on this all the time but not this little black duck!I think i'm going to go to bed early to get over the hunger. Tell you what, I'd better have lost 5 bloody kilos by tomorrow or i'll be cross.
I have put much thought into this decision and reconciled that it is the only option if I want to live a healthy life and if I want to have children. My family and friends are so very supportive of my decision. I thank them for that. It does, however, sadden me that only one person has told me that they like me just the way I am. My boss. A 43 year old male. The only person. Shame on you all. You haven’t upset me, but I won’t forget. It doesn’t always occur to people to say they like you the way you are and you don’t need to change, but when he did, it touched me.
I have always had a healthy appetite. I remember at the age of 8 or 9 going to sleep over at my neighbour’s house. My friend, J, called me a pig and exclaimed in front of her whole family that I ate just as much as her dad did. I didn’t see a problem. Didn’t everyone eat this much? At that point I wasn’t overweight. I was a very active child and I did dancing and singing and netball and softball and little athletics and rode my bike for hours every afternoon.
I remember always wanting more. More of anything I wasn’t allowed to have. I remember getting up in the middle of the night to drink Coke out of the fridge because we weren’t allowed to drink it. I remember hiding in the pantry to eat biscuits I knew I wasn’t allowed to eat, I remember going over to the neighbours houses to get something to eat because I had been told that I had eaten enough. When I turned 11 the food began catching up with me and I became bigger than the others. But I didn’t see it. I do now, when I look back on photographs, but back then I thought I was just like everyone else.
I only recently began to think of myself as fat. It may shock you to hear that. I’ve always known that I was bigger than others, but only a bit bigger. Surely. I have always had a very healthy level of self esteem and self confidence. My larger than life personality and straight shooting tongue got me through many situations where I may have been taunted for my size. I could always walk the walk and talk the talk and always managed to fit in, no matter where I went. I suppose my size made me a little intimidating to others. This matched with my loud, sometimes obnoxious, voice made sure that the attention was off my size.
So this is my blog. This is day one of my pre-operative diet to shrink my liver. This is it. I have no idea of what lies ahead but I know that I needed somewhere to tell my story. It’s going to be blunt, it’s going to contain bad language, but most importantly, it’s going to be an honest recount of my journey. I hope that it serves as an entertaining and amusing blog for interested parties. I hope that people in a similar situation can share their experiences and give me advice, but most of all I hope that I make it through the first 6 months!