Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Before & After Photo

I took this photo tonight.  The difference between the two is about 7 or 8 weeks.  The photo was taken a few days before I started the pre-op diet.  The changes are pretty remarkable!!  Most obvious is the shape that my face now has!  I'm not looking like a box head anymore!!  I also measured and weighed myself today.  I've lost 10cm off my bust, 17cm off my waist and 11cm off my hips.  My total weightloss to date is 21.6kg!

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

The problem with PMS

I don't know about everyone else but PMS for me used to mean pigging out on all my favourite foods.  Cravings and portions beyond my wildest dreams.  Now with my quarter of a stomach, all I can do is dream.  Dream about sitting down in front of a massive bowl of bacon and tomato spaghetti.  Dream about the deliciousness of a king size Crunchie (or 2). Or dream about the 750ml Ice break chilled to just on freezing and then skulling until you get the inevitable cold headache... Now, while I can have those things, the portions are so small it defeats the purpose of a good quality PMS pig out!! *Sighs* Looks like I'll have to replace those cravings with mood swings and excess hormones... Poor husband.

Sunday, 28 August 2011


Apologies for the lack of updates in the last week and a bit.  I have had work commitments that have rendered me in the middle of Queensland, without a computer.  This lack of access to the world wide inter webs made me start to itch (literally), however, I am back and have access to the Internet again (rash has already begun clearing up)!!

After arriving home on Friday night, I received a text message from our chariot driver, informing me that I had stolen their collection of DVDs and remote controls.  Bugger.  My planned sleep in until 11am was ruined.  BUT it did mean that I needed to go into The Hamptons to drop it off.  This, in turn, meant that I could make up excellent excuses to partake in my favourite of all sports, shopping.  I obviously needed to go and buy a gift for the husband's birthday and perhaps he could have a look for a new mobile phone.  Everyone wins!  

While he was waiting (very patiently I might add for someone who lacks patience in his DNA make up) to speak to an expert, I made my excuses and dashed away.  I went to the usual fat girl clothing stores which always leave me unsatisfied and went into Sussan.  "Whoop-de-doo!" I hear you say?  Well not for me.  Sussan has really lovely clothes that, in the past, have just been a pipe dream for me.  About 10 years ago I could stretch an XL cotton t-shirt over a chair for a few days and it might fit but I gave that up long ago for the more comfortable, elastic waisted items that actually fit and didn't cling too much to the spare tyres inhabiting my middle.  
So in I saunter, making my way straight to the accessories (they always fit, it's hard to find a scarf that doesn't).  I've always been paranoid that the shop assistants would look at me and think, "Why is she bothering, nothing will fit her!" So if I start at the accessories, they won't say anything (I know, you are overwhelmed by my superior thought patterns!).  A singlet in the most divine shade of chartreuse caught my eye.  I thought, "Nah, it's too early to buy anything from here, but I'll pick it up anyway and have a look..."  I looked at it and thought "You know what, it might just fit me!"  At that moment, I was shocked out of my inner monologue by a shop assistant who said to me, and I kid you not, "What size have you got there?"  Me: "Um, extra large"  Her (or goddess as she will forever be known) "You know I think a large will be big enough for you"  At that point I went weak at the knees and began giggling like a crazy woman.  I mean she was totally out of her mind, but is that what she really thought?  Who cares!  She thinks I would fit into a large OH-EM-GEEEEEE!!!   Best shopping moment ever.  Needless to say I bought that stunning singlet (in the extra large which is still frickin awesome and fits perfectly!), and a scarf to complete the look.  I couldn't wipe the smile off my face and ran back to the shop to re-tell the whole event to husband!!  I was so happy!  
But it doesn't end there... Another awesome moment happened today!  I found a gorgeous pair of strappy sandals that have a strap around the ankle.  Delicious.  However, in the past I can get the shoe on but never do up the ankle bit.  Today the shoe went on, ankle strap did up easily AND there is even a bit of room to move.  This is great!!!!!  Another 15kg and I am going to be seriously dangerous in a shopping centre!  I'd better start saving!!

Sunday, 21 August 2011


I have been hanging for a Vietnamese spring roll.  It's all I've been thinking about for a couple of weeks now but I thought it would be too difficult to eat.  Tonight, I braved it.  My mouth was watering so much as I cut up all the ingredients.  It's one of those meals that is so fresh and healthy that you feel good preparing it and even better eating it.  I wet the rice paper and laid it on my plate.  I layered tiny amounts of vermicelli noodles, cucumber, carrot, lettuce, mint and finely diced chicken.  I rolled it up and swallowed the litre of saliva that had built up in anticipation.  I dunked this little piece of heaven in hoi sin sauce and swallowed the other litre of saliva that had already filled my mouth again.  I bit in and began the lengthy chewing process.  And chewed.  And chewed.  And swallowed.  And then I waited to see the effect it would have on me... Nothing.  No pain! Are you kidding me?  HOORAYYYY!!!  I can eat these!!  You little bloody ripper! 

I thought I'd only get through one, but at the end I was fairly confident I could do another.  So I repeated the process (minus the saliva bit) and savoured every single tiny bite, until I got about three quarters of the way into it and then needed to take a break.  I wasn't sure if I was full but I kept going and quite easily finished it.  I decided (after a 5 minute break) that I was going to try for a third.  That was silly of me.  It took me 15 minutes just to get half way through the third, only to discover that I couldn't finish it.  I just started to feel sick - which is my trigger for too much has been consumed.  My eyes are apparently still too big for my stomach, which is now even smaller so I'm in a world of trouble!!

Saturday, 20 August 2011

A Breakthrough!

The other night, I had a chat with a good friend who had the same procedure done almost a year ago.  While I was obviously thrilled with how I was going, there was always a nagging "is this normal?" voice regularly in my head!  It is so nice to talk to someone and be able to ask the questions that concern you the most and find out that it's normal.  The most concerning one is about the uncomfortable-ness (I am refraining from using the word 'pain') that occurs frequently.  As I've mentioned in the past it totally ruins my appetite and I usually stop eating when it happens.  She assures me that it becomes less frequent, but those old habits die hard and it's when you are engrossed in something delicious that you can forget to monitor the amount in your mouth, or how well you chew something! 

I have just spent the early part of this weekend over on North Keppel Island - what an amazing piece of paradise that is!  Crystal clear water and breathtaking views.  It's just what I needed to de-stress!  The amazing caterers over there are well known for their sensational food... and they didn't disappoint!!  I thought about letting them know that I have special dietary needs but I figured that I could always pick things apart and eat the bits I could.  After all, it is important that I begin to adjust to everyday life.  

The entire weekend was an absolute success for me, food wise.  No pain.  At all.  It was like a switch had been flipped all of a sudden!!  I ate fruit, salads, sausages, patties, cold cuts, cheese, cake, scones and the list goes on and on (I'm still full!!).  As long as I took things very slowly, chewed verrry well and kept things to a minimum, I was as good as gold!  I was SO excited!  I also think that the amount I could eat has increased slightly too.  It's hard to serve your self up teeny tiny little bits but I am getting used to knowing what I will and won't be able to eat.  I have also been carrying around my water bottle and making sure that I have been drinking as much as I can during the day.

This week I'm off on school camp.  Not my most favourite time of year but with good company, the time soon flies by!  I am aware of the menu (since I set it!!!) and I am confident that I will be able to eat everything on offer.  I'll be taking some back up food, just in case!!

Lastly (because I am so tired by eyes are falling out of my head), I've recently been feeling that "empty" feeling more, and more often.  I think that might be the hungry feeling that has been missing since the op.  I can have a drink of water and it no longer annoys me, but if I ignore it I find myself feeling a little bit unwell.

Sunday, 14 August 2011

The Big Two-Oh!

I have officially hit the 20kg mark!  Yipee!!  I would be here if it wasn't for that nasty virus that knocked me for six, that I can guarantee.  I didn't eat for 3 days when I had that nasty thing.  Even towards the end of the week I had no interest in eating anything... I just kept drinking fluids.  During this time, I also had some really uncomfortable pains in my stomach whenever I tried to eat.  Even the smallest, and usually easy to eat item gave me grief.  I stop eating when that happens, it totally ruins your appetite and puts you off! 
Over the weekend my "appetite" has returned and I am keen to eat again.  I'm not hungry or feeling weak but I want to try foods, rather than being worried they will cause discomfort.   I'm meant to start slowly introducing solids as of tomorrow but things have been going really, really well for a couple of days so I started a bit early (naughty me).

We went out for dinner on Friday night to a smorgasbord - totally a waste of money on my behalf but whatever,  I went to be social.  I had a 1cm piece of beef, a 1cm piece of chicken and roughly the same with a piece of potato.  No problem at all!!! Hooray!!!  Yesterday I had a couple of macadamia nuts, some sausage, and even a little piece of ciaobata bread... No problem at all!!  Hooray again!!!  Today I had a third of a cucumber and creamed cheese sandwich (the Queen's fave).  It was so delicious!  I have also begun to try salad-y bits and pieces: Tomato is good, lettuce is good, grated carrot is good and cucumber is also good.  I am mindful that once I can tolerate a solid texture I shouldn't go back to the mushy textures.  It's hard to imagine that only 5 weeks ago I could barely swallow a teaspoon of water.  I know I've still got a loooooong way to go until my diet is fully back to allowing all items on the agenda but so far, so good!

Monday, 8 August 2011

Happy 1 Month Surgi-versary!

This time a month ago I was just waking up from my surgery.  I would never have believed that I would come so far in a month!  In about a week I am allowed to start introducing "normal" foods into my diet, mind you I won't be rushing this in any way, shape or form!!  I still get a pain in the top of my stomach if I eat too quickly or try to eat more than half a teaspoon at a time.  I'm quite happy with minced and mashed and give my continuing disinterest in food it wouldn't bother me to leave it another few weeks before having a go!!  My total weight loss since surgery is 10.5kg and 17kg overall.  Awesome!

On Saturday I came down with a nasty virus.  Nassssty virus.  I have been virtually bed ridden since.  I had been hoping that it was just a virus but I just wasn't sure.  When I got up this morning I went to take my somac and within seconds I knew I was going to throw up.  Wracked with terror I braced myself over the loo and let rip.  Since my stomach is so small now the amount of vomit is also significantly reduced... It doesn't make the experience any more pleasant though!!  I was concerned that I may have a leak or something wrong with my gizzards so I contacted the surgeon to see if it was a possibility.  The possibility was minor but still there.  I called my GP and told them it was an emergency (since she is usually booked about a month in advance).  They got me straight in - phew!  After taking my temp (39.1) and blood pressure (normal) and poking and prodding around it was decided that it was just a virus.  I haven't been that relieved in a looong time!!

Friday, 5 August 2011

Food For Thought...

I had a thought tonight... In the past I have weighed myself and always been jubilant if I'd lost even 100g (and would always call it half a kilo - well it almost is!). But when putting on as little as 100g I've thought, "Oh well..."  and after putting my shoulders back and turning my frown into a smile, I force myself to push it to the back of my mind.  
You see, losing weight is all about numbers, no matter who you are.  The difference between fatties and skinnies is that skinnies see an increase and immediately think "right, no more snacking after dinner and nothing consumed after 6:30pm, no matter what, and I'm going to run 2km this week and 5km next week."  And they stick to that.  The 100g plus an extra 500g is gone.  Problem solved.
I see an increase and think "Shit. I've put on more weight.  Shit.  I've really got to do something about... I think there might be cake in the fridge and just a small piece is fine, I'll walk the dog to work it off."  Hmmmmm.  Do you see the problem?  A week later the same process occurs.  Then I get serious.  Really serious.  I weigh myself.  I take a small can of baked beans, a fat free yogurt and a can of diet coke to work and have a salad for dinner.  Although a little hungry, I make it through.  The next morning, weigh in.  Surely I've lost 100g.  Shit. Nothing.  Next day, same routine plus a walk.  Next day, same routine plus a walk and a piece of chocolate because I've been really good!!  Now, the restraint taken to avoid getting on the scales for the last 2 days is horrendous and I am expecting that I will be able to see a major difference in my clothes annnnddddd dropped, what, 5 or 6 kg in 3 days?  When I see no difference or just a couple of hundred grams, I convince myself that it's just not worth it.  Depriving myself for the amount of time needed to drop the weight is unachievable.  So I return to normal.
Now when I weight myself, I know that these are numbers that I will NEVER see again.  And I smile.

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Post Surgery Check Up & Week 3

It went like this verbatim (after a 45 minute drive into the 'Hamptons)...

"Yes, hi!"
"Come on in."
"How are you feeling?"
"Fabulous, not problems at all!"
"How are your incisions?"
"Fine, I think... Should they be a bit lumpy under the skin?"
"Yes, that's a normal part of the healing process, they'll go in about 3 months.  How is your eating going?  Minced and mashed?"
"Yep, all good.  Some things are a bit painful but I just avoid them or take much smaller mouthfuls and chew it better."
"Great!  You should be able to move onto trying "normal" foods in about 2 weeks, until then, take it easy."
"Ok.  I have tried a couple of "normal" foods and they were a bit tricky but it wasn't really painful or anything.  I just needed to chew really, really well."
"Ok, probably avoid doing that for another couple of weeks, you need to heal."
"Oh... roger that, will do."
"Great.  See you in 8 weeks and then 6 monthly after that for about 18 months." 

And that was it.  2.5minutes  It was my post op appointment so it was free.. yay.  Never mind the $55 in fuel it just cost me, OR the accident that happened while I was fueling up that nearly killed me (a total drongo came around the roundabout at about 70km an hour and headed straight for the servo before locking his steering and breaking hard at the last minute, causing him to fly off up the street and take out the trailer attached to someones car driving on the other side of the road. Dickhead.).  Or the kangaroo I almost hit on the way home...  But I did catch up with some lovely friends for a mouthful of rice and a couple of pieces of chicken and beef (beef remains the enemy).

In other news, I finally got up the courage to try sushi.  Avocado hosomaki (little avo rolls with Japanese mayo - yummmmm), drowned in soy sauce so it was nice and wet.  Chewed like a mo fo and got through 4 little pieces after much discomfort.  I waved the white flag on that one.  No dice.  I'll try again in a couple of months.  Boo.

I strapped on my sneakers to play a game of netball tonight.  First time in 2.5 years.  I was SO excited and I was playing with people I'd never met so I was keen to impress.  I had a stack within the first 2 minutes.  Oh good.  The new fat lady is already down.  I bounced up and kept playing. Busting out my best "I'm right, I'm right, let's go!" and not wanting to look at my knees or massage my aching buttocks that I landed on.  The game was going really well up until I stacked it AGAIN.  Awkward.  I blame the fact that I haven't worn sneakers for about 2 years and forgot how to walk in them.  Let's go with that theory.  On getting out of the shower I have discovered that this old grey mare just ain't what she used to be.  Injuries are as follows:  Busted black and blue finger, feet are killing me, buttocks are screaming, may have torn a tricep muscle, Achilles is already tender and shoulders have collapsed.  I can't wait for next Thursday night!

Not much weight lost this week and a bit.  Around 2kg.  Food has been fairly good (chocolate is easily eaten - yay) but I really do need to get out there and do more exercise.  I'm tearing up "Just Dance" on the Wii for an hour on Friday with the kids,which always works up a sweat, but it needs to be more often.  Lucky I've got it at home!!  Maggie is fanging for a big walk and fun on the beach...I might just do that this weekend.  If I can walk.