Friday, 15 July 2011
July 14 & 15
When I got home I was allowed to begin "free fluids". Basically anything up to the consistency of custard. I was pretty excited about custard just quietly! I will do this for 2 weeks to make sure that I am gentle on my new stomach and let it heal properly. The discomfort I originally felt when having the clear liquids has gone and I can now tolerate a decent mouthful of liquids, however, now I get it with the thicker liquids. I am very aware of the liklihood of pain (which isn't unbearable, but more uncomfortable) and have been avoiding getting to that point. I have to "eat" about 1500ml of fluids each day. This is difficult, believe me. I have been walking around with a glass of something in my hand to make sure that I am regularly drinking something (especially water). I am crucially aware of becoming dehydrated and ending up back in hospital.
I find myself a little confused by the sensations that I am feeling and what my brain is telling me. I can't recognise hungry at the moment. I haven't felt hungry at all since the surgery. Psychologically I want to chew on something (more on that later), but I am not hungry as such. I understand uncomfortable (which I assumed was "I'm full"), but I really am experiencing more of "not interested" and "don't give two shits". I wish that I had felt that at any time of my life pre-surgery. I only ever felt the need to consume until there is nothing left. How times have changed!
We went into town today to get a few things and drop off some of my stuff to Vinnie's. On the way home Ben got some hot chips. ohemgee they smelt divine. I knew I couldn't eat them and that wasn't a problem. I didn't care at all. But I could chew them. And chew them I did. When I got home I chewed up and then spat out two chips. It's actually quite difficult to not swallow what you are chewing. But you know what, I got the sensation that I had been longing for since before starting that pre-surgery diet. Hot and crunchy carbs in my mouth. Yummo! I happily spat them out and that was that. Craving satisfied!
Incidently, I am now 10kg lighter than I was on the 27th of June when I started the Optifast diet. Nice!