At 10:00 we were called in to an interview room to speak to the nurse. He ran over the obvious things and then went to get the anaesthetist to meet me and give me the once over. So in rocked Dr V. What a character. Loud, to the point and obviously very skilled in his field. "How are you feeling?" he asked me in a thick South African accent. "I'm terrified" I replied making sure I popped out my doe eyes and batted my eyelashes so that he would be extra gentle with me. "Yes, you should be. You could die." he said looking me dead in the eye and smiling. Fuck. I'm going to die, I thought. He noted a couple of "big juicy ones" (veins) that I had and drew some circles on me. Then said "Ok. See you on the table!" and he was gone!
Then I was wheeled into the theatre. I was again asked what my full name, date of birth, allergies and what I was having done today (I couldn't bring myself to answer 'gender reassignment' but I wish I had!). I couldn't see much but I was introduced to all the doctors and nurses in there. In rocked Dr V again. He whipped off the dressing and began to insert the cannula while proclaiming "You've got a ganglian (big calcified lump on my bones of my hand) here, but we'll try and go around it and try not to lose any troops!" I giggled. "Success, the battle has been won!" he proclaimed loudly. "Did we lose any troops?" I asked, he giggled. "No troops were lost! Come on Johnny boy, let's do this!" He called to the surgeon, who's name isn't Johhny. A nurse put an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose. "This is it, isn't it?!" I asked. "Breathe deeply and we'll look after you..." she said soothingly with a gentle smile. She's nice. Was my last thought.